Thursday, October 24, 2013

Pressure from parents: A reflection of your own experiences of culture and identity in relation to education




Generally, culture is the characteristics of a particular group of people that comprises of signs and symbols, language, visual and meanings, and belief norms and rituals (Wadham, 2007). Culture plays a huge role of people’s identity and is a major determinant of their actions and behaviour (Phillips, 2006 p. 5).

In today’s society, parents are putting too much pressure on their kids to perform academically well due to traditions and social stigma. They are naive, lack the knowledge and don’t understand the negative psychological effects of their actions, as they were not brought up the same way.

During the HSC, my parents had put a lot of pressure on me due to the high values they placed on education. They didn’t and still don't understand how hard it is to get a 99 ATAR. They believe in tough love and they were my biggest critics. Although I attended a public school, they have spent money on outside tuition fees ever since I was in year 3 until year 12 for several subjects. That’s thousands and thousands of dollars altogether. I do not come from a wealthy family; hence just thinking about the amount of money they’ve spent on me gets me overwhelmed.

My cousins performed academically well and are very successful. I often get compared against them.  In one perspective, my family gets looked down because my sister is a ‘nurse’ and not a ‘doctor’, and my other sister is a ‘book keeper’ and not an ‘accountant’. Given the traditional Asian focus on education, a child’s school achievement is seen as evidence of good parenting, as well as the harbinger of a bright future.” Therefore, if I were to achieve good marks, it will better our family reputation.

I constantly didn’t meet my parents’ expectations. Due to this, I became depressed, suffered from anxiety, sleepless nights and had very low self-esteem. The pressure from home caused me to become a stress head. Stressed over the most little things. I was never satisfied with my results although I knew a lot of people would be over the moon if they received it. My mental health was suffering. I didn’t feel comfortable talking about it to anyone, especially my parents. They don’t understand what the illness is and would probably think that I’m crazy and jump to conclusions. They don't understand the consequences. Till this very day, my parents don’t know what I went through. However, I was able to overcome this through the support services my school provided.



I believe ‘too much academic pressure from home’ is a big issue in the Chinese/Vietnamese families and that there should be more awareness in the parenting community.

Reference

Phillips, A. (2006). What is culture? In Arneil, Barbara and Deveaux, Monique and Dhamoon, Rita and Eisenberg, Avigail, (eds.) Sexual justice / cultural justice. London, UK : Routledge, 2006, pp. 15-29.
Wadham, B. Pudsey, J. & Boyd, R. (2007). Culture and education. Sydney: Pearson Education. Chapter 1: What is culture?

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